Let it Go

    It's been three years since I have last written anything on here. WOW! Life just gets so busy and complicated, that I often don't take the time to just sit and reflect on what is going on in our life. Let alone write it down. Our days just seem to slip right by us before we know it we are laying in bed and wondering, "did I even talk to God once today?" It has really been on my heart to lately to reconnect with him..to talk to him and let him be apart of my life more..let him be more a part of our family's lives. I think we, just being human, go through so much in life that we forget he's there waiting for us. Patiently waiting for all of us to return to him and walk with him. What we don't often think about is that sometimes our lives are out of whack-- because our relationship with Christ is out of whack.

        I attend an incredible church, I have wonderful friends in Christ, I teach my children about God at home, my daughter attends a christian school...but none of that matters unless I, personally, am living out my life for Christ, setting that example for Lilly and Van.  I can go to church every Sunday, meet with bible study groups every month, hang out with believers weekly, spout off random lines to my children about "is that how Jesus would act" when they fight until I'm blue in the face! But, if I'm not living it MYSELF, believing it and practicing what I preach, then its futile! 

       God has laid upon my heart to just let it go! Let the bitterness go, let the anger go, let the jealousy go, let the hurt go, let the sadness go..just LET IT GO. I couldn't be more sick of seeing that phrase everywhere I look, obviously due to the Frozen movie...but it hit me the other day that I-ME! just need to "let it go." There is no place for him in my heart and in my life if I am still hanging on to all of that. I feel so silly for not seeing this earlier. But, apparently it takes a while of seeing Disney phrases before you finally realize you aren't really seeing Disney...you are seeing God speaking to you!

          I'm so thankful for all my friends, they encourage me and pray for & with me and are truly always there for me to lift my spirits. Anthony and I have definitely had some pretty awful times in our marriage- at one point I stood, with my newborn baby in my arms, knowing and waiting for papers to be delivered to me. We were done. But, we weren't. We aren't. We never will be. God has gotten us through each valley, each canyon and given us HOPE. That is such an important word to us. It has so much meaning to us and without our relationship with Christ, who knows where we would be today. 

           Everyday presents its own struggles, but I am determined to live for Christ. I want my children to be the light in this dark world. If anything else, I want to be able to show them what Christ did for us, does for us, and is still doing for us each day!