March Madness has come to an end

I find myself more and more using the phrase, " I just don't have any time." I used to always feel that everyone had time, they just needed to prioritize their life. But it seems that it's not that one has to prioritize, but often times it's their top priorities that are taking up all their time!

March was so incredibly crazy for us, I look back at it now and think how did I ever get through it all? Van was sick for about 24 out of the 31 days in March. It started with fever and ear infection, then followed by a fever of 103 for about 5 days, followed by a rash (which turned out to be roseola), followed by another rash, which we are 99% sure was chicken pox. Add in ballet classes, Mom's groups, scheduled play dates, and bible studies. Phew what a month! We celebrated my 30th in March as well as  Van's 1st birthday. Lilly and Van's Paw Paw and his wife came up from Texas the last week in March for a visit too. It was the first time they were meeting Van.We all had such a good time that week. The kids loved it and Lilly had such a blast with her Paw Paw.

It seems that now that we have turned the corner of Van's first year he and Lilly are growing up at a super speed each day. Lilly is most definitely ready for Kindergarten this fall. She is constantly surprising Anthony and me with how smart she is, especially her logical thinking. She truly is a sponge and you never know what sinks in and what doesn't with kids. We were having breakfast the other morning and out of no where she says, "Mom I know I disobey sometimes, but there is two reasons why I do that. One, I was born a sinner, we are all born sinners. And two, I just forget sometimes to obey." I asked her where she learned or who she heard that from about being born a sinner, already knowing that I had said that to her several times in her life, but maybe she was learning that in Sunday school or something. She said, "well YOU mom, of course. Don't you remember teaching me that?" lol  It makes me so proud to see those things stick with her. I have one very special girl on my hands, one that I thank the Lord for everyday.

Van is doing something new all the time now. He is starting to say little words and he LOVES to mimic anyone. He will cough after you cough, laugh after you laugh, blow on hot food after you do, any and all you do he does. It is really funny. He has especially taken to holding out both hands in front of him (zombie style) and making a 'monster' sound. lol He is such a typical boy and I am amazed at how different it is from girls to boys. He is getting very close to walking these days too, I love it!

I found this draft and am just gonna publish it now..even though its been 3 years. ha !! So, the dates could be off when published, but clearly it was written a while ago. oops

Let it Go

    It's been three years since I have last written anything on here. WOW! Life just gets so busy and complicated, that I often don't take the time to just sit and reflect on what is going on in our life. Let alone write it down. Our days just seem to slip right by us before we know it we are laying in bed and wondering, "did I even talk to God once today?" It has really been on my heart to lately to reconnect with him..to talk to him and let him be apart of my life more..let him be more a part of our family's lives. I think we, just being human, go through so much in life that we forget he's there waiting for us. Patiently waiting for all of us to return to him and walk with him. What we don't often think about is that sometimes our lives are out of whack-- because our relationship with Christ is out of whack.

        I attend an incredible church, I have wonderful friends in Christ, I teach my children about God at home, my daughter attends a christian school...but none of that matters unless I, personally, am living out my life for Christ, setting that example for Lilly and Van.  I can go to church every Sunday, meet with bible study groups every month, hang out with believers weekly, spout off random lines to my children about "is that how Jesus would act" when they fight until I'm blue in the face! But, if I'm not living it MYSELF, believing it and practicing what I preach, then its futile! 

       God has laid upon my heart to just let it go! Let the bitterness go, let the anger go, let the jealousy go, let the hurt go, let the sadness go..just LET IT GO. I couldn't be more sick of seeing that phrase everywhere I look, obviously due to the Frozen movie...but it hit me the other day that I-ME! just need to "let it go." There is no place for him in my heart and in my life if I am still hanging on to all of that. I feel so silly for not seeing this earlier. But, apparently it takes a while of seeing Disney phrases before you finally realize you aren't really seeing Disney...you are seeing God speaking to you!

          I'm so thankful for all my friends, they encourage me and pray for & with me and are truly always there for me to lift my spirits. Anthony and I have definitely had some pretty awful times in our marriage- at one point I stood, with my newborn baby in my arms, knowing and waiting for papers to be delivered to me. We were done. But, we weren't. We aren't. We never will be. God has gotten us through each valley, each canyon and given us HOPE. That is such an important word to us. It has so much meaning to us and without our relationship with Christ, who knows where we would be today. 

           Everyday presents its own struggles, but I am determined to live for Christ. I want my children to be the light in this dark world. If anything else, I want to be able to show them what Christ did for us, does for us, and is still doing for us each day! 

AAAhhhhhh so much has happened!

Well before I even started this post, I had to look back and see just exactly how long it has been since I was last here. LOL February to June isn't bad right?!

So let's see, back in March we celebrated Vans 2nd birthday!!!  I know parents sound like broken records when we say this, but it is soooo true...Time flies! I can't believe he is 2 already! It feels like we just had him in the hospital yesterday. But, at the same time, I, probable more so than Daddy, just cause I am at home with him, feel like it has been a very long 2 years. He has been so ill for two years and I am hoping we are turning a corner now. He was diagnosed with GERD at 6 months old, even though we know he was like that from the moment he was born...constantly throwing up and not gaining weight. Then soon after that, he just seemed to catch EVERYTHING that was out there. You name it he has had it. I am sure it didn't help that this winter went down as one of the worst winters for illnesses. And Indiana was hit hard! We are 1 ear infection away from tubes, chicken pox, hand foot and mouth, the flu from every strain, pink eye, strep throat, fevers GALORE, and so on and so on. Each day though is a true blessing with him. I just keep reminding myself that without the strength from God, I could not make it through. HE has carried me through an enormous amount of trial and tribulations these past 2 years. I am amazed at how much he cares and loves me. Out of the billions of people in this world, I still feel like he has all the time  to focus on solely me. I pray everyday that my children will grow to have a close and personal relationship with God. It is an amazing thing!!!

Okay so updates...LOL Van turned 2 and we couldn't be more proud of the little guy who is coming into his own. He is talking constantly, I mean CONSTANTLY! HE loves his big sister to death and just mimicks any and all she does 24/7. It's pretty funny. I love watching them interact with one another. Lilly is all girl and Van is all boy at heart, but since he sees her play dress up and princesses he just wants to join in. Lol It's pretty funny. We recently got him his superman cape and he wears that thing around like its a life line.

He is obsessed with a few things these days. One, being Cars particularly Mater from the movie. Two, trains. Three, superheroes! So we had a Cars party for him. When he saw the cake, he actually gasped. LOL It was cute.

 

Soon after that Lilly had her second annual Father/Daughter Dance. She got all dressed up and had a wonderful evening with her Daddy. Never underestimate the importance of Daddy Daughter time. Girls are so impressionable, at any age. And aside from our God, there isn't anyone as important as her Daddy to her. Someone she can look up to for guidance and support. Someone she can count on. Someone she knows will be there for her through her first date, her first heartbreak, her first graduation and many more firsts. Someone to show her how to be brave and courageous, how to be a leader, how girls should be treated and how to put God first in all she does. She had an incredible night and was the belle of the ball!

From March on, it was a whirlwind of events for us. We decided this year that we would like to being the process of purchasing our first home. We didn't really know how to begin so we just jumped in, feet first! Easter snuck up on us quickly. Aunt Bekah came from Toledo to visit and we all had a really nice time together. Van loved looking for the Easter eggs. Lilly is pretty much a pro at it, so she was kind enough to leave the obvious ones for him to find, but even those he would walk right by jus following Lil around. lol

How could you not love these beautiful faces??

HE IS RISEN!

Antho and I started getting work out from house hunting so we took a break for about a week, but then realized we didn't do well with that either because we kept thinking we were missing something, or we would miss "our house." Silly I know, but those fears start to just creep in and take over. We prayed about it every night with the kids, that God would lead us to the right home for our family, that we would know it was our home, to just provide for us if this is his will. I came across a house that I thought we should take a look at, so we made an appointment, saw it, and I KNEW! I knew this was our house. Long story short, we are now first time home owners! It was a very long process with many ups and downs during it all. It was a huge emotional roller coaster that I look back at now and think how did I ever get through all that?! Van decided he wanted to start potty training himself during this time as well! I COULD NOT have picked a worse time to potty train. WE were coming up on the last month of school, last month for  ballet, with a recital, closing on our home, packing an entire house, and moving into new house (the last week of school)...so yeah potty training was not in my book for this time!!!!

I decided I wasn't going to encourage it, but I wouldn't discourage it either. IF he tells me he wants to go we will, but I just couldn't "train" him right now. He ended up doing really good. It is off and on that we go on the potty, and he and I are both very happy with that.

 

So the months of April and May were just massive chaos for us. Lilly had her recital half way through May, as her third year in dancing and she did incredible! They danced to This Little Light of Mine by Addison Road. If you have yet to hear that version, I highly suggest you do!! It's a very moving song that combined with the innocence of tiny ballerinas dancing for the Lord was such an emotional thing to watch. We were gone all day from 7 am til 9 pm with rehearsals, meetings and in between when she was suppose to be home resting up for her big night, we were at an urgent care because I had that feeling.....and what do you know her eye was getting worse by the minute. She had strep throat and pink eye!!! So we got a shot for strep throat, oral antibiotics for throat and drops and salve for her eye. My poor poor baby! We went that evening with hand sanitizer, tissues, garbage bags all in tow. Moms have to stay with their kids until it is their time to head to the stage for their song. So I kept her away from everyone as best I could, but knew I could only do so much. She was so upset over how her eye looked and how ugly she felt because her eye was starting to droop. It was so sad to hear her say the things she was saying to me. I reminded her that she was made in God's image and that she was perfect. That she was the most beautiful ballerina there that night. No one was looking at her eye. I told her we were all here to watch her and all the hard work she has done for the past year. She calmed down, walked on to that stage with confidence and danced her heart out. I was, AM, so proud of her!

Summer can't some soon enough for us all. Between moving, recitals, sickness, award ceremonies, Kindergarten graduation...definitely ready for a break.

 

Yes, you heard me, my pumpkin graduated Kindergarten with honors! Holy Cow! How did we get here, and where did this year go?! IT was yesterday I swear, me walking her into class on her first day. She was so scared and nervous. She wasn't sure if she would make friends, if anyone would like her, what she would say to others, what she would be learning, who would keep her safe...oh wait that was me! Okay, so she thought some of those things too. But I probably thought most of them for her. Then there we were on her last day of school, I watched her walk into school with her head held high and a huge smile on her face. What a difference a year makes. She was awarded the character quality Obedience, and I couldn't agree more with that one!

 

(First day of Kindergarten)            (Last day of Kindergarten)

 

School is out, summer is here and we are in the new house! So let the fun begin!!!

 

 

 

 

I guess I'm not a blogger!

Clearly I am not a blogger! LOL If it has been since October since I last wrote about everything....then it is safe to say I could NEVER do this for a living!! Or even a hobby!

So where should I begin...Lilly turned 6 October 31st! I can hardly believe it. She is growing up so fast, some days faster than I can keep track of. We had cake and ice cream with just family at our house. I swear each year we say we are cutting back on gifts, and do, somehow she comes out with more! She is really into the newest Disney movie, Brave, so she got her dress this summer and was practicing archery for months outside. I made her cake again this year and got the official stamp of approval for decorating cakes from her! She has such a great birthday and afterwards we went trick or treating. IT was sooo cold and rainy this year for that. So we didn't stay out more than prob half hour with the kids. Lilly was a southern belle and Van was a puppy. He actually wore part of Lilly's old costume from when she was 4 and she had matching pants with the top. We just put him in the top, which was of course to big, and then just some black pants. He loved it!!

 

Soon after her birthday celebration it seemed as if things went straight down the toilet, no pun intended! WE are got very very sick for just about the entire month of November and December! We all got hit with a really nasty stomach bug that was going around like you wouldn't believe! I started with it and no lie, within 2 hours of me throwing up, Lilly started then half hour later Antho started and an hour after that it was on to Vance. I kept thinking we were some sort of those comedies where one person starts puking and everyone else starts seconds later. I have never seen something hit so hard so quickly. Needless to say that the entire night was filled with throwing up and tons of washing bedding, bowls, trashcans etc. Ugh worst night ever. That bug stuck around for about 2- 3 weeks. After that bug, there was always something going around our house. I could not bare to watch the reports anymore on how this has been the absolute worst year ever for the flu and virusus. In December, there was probably only about 1 week that we were ALL healthy. So it was a pretty rough couple months for us and it did not make it easy at all for being the holiday season. My poor babies!

The kids had an awesome Christmas! Van absolutely LOVED opening his gifts. So much that he thought every single gift, including ones at my parents house, were for him. Even if they weren't his he assumed he would be opening them LOL Aunt Anna and Uncle Kyle were able to visit for a short time at Christmas. IT was so awesome to see them. Lilly and Van really miss Aunt Anna while she is living in New England. They love when she is around to play. So does Mommy!

 

It is so hard to constantly be in a state of mind of "blessed" or "thankfulness" but I am really trying hard to be like that...And as each holiday or special occasion comes around I am reminded of it, but there are not enough birthdays, holidays, reunions, celebrations to do that so this year I am trying to wake up each morning thanking the Lord for all his mercy and blessings to me and my family. I know I often complain or more so worry about how often Van gets sick or seems to catch SOMETHING all the time!!!! But I am reminded to cast all my cares and worries on HIM. Each day is a gift from heaven that I am here on this earth with my children and my family. My children do not have any life threatening diseases,  do not have tubes or machines hooked up to them to help them live, have 2 arms, legs, etc...that in itself should be enough to help me stay in a positive mind set. So all I can say is that, I am only human. One mom. One daughter. One sister. One wife. One aunt. One person. So yes, there will be many mistakes I make, many people I disappoint, many times I will let down fail those I love...But I get back up and try again. try to live a holy life, where I can make my kids proud, my husband proud but most of all my Lord proud. I truly am blessed to have so much and so many in my life. Here are some pics from Christmas.



 

They are growing up so fast! I can hardly believe Van is going to be 2 in a month! I swear, but it seems as if he is growing up at a speed way more faster than Lilly did. Impossible, I know, but still seems that way!

 

We haven't had too much snow this winter, more than last year though, but the kids were able to take a few days and go sledding. It was so very cold out the times we went so we didn't stay out too long but they still had such a fun time. Although I am not convinced it was worth the hour + it took to get them ready and get out the door...until I look at these photos. Van refused to be pulled back up the hill in a sled. He was adamant about walking up. And it was a very steep hill! He only held Papa's hand the last 20 feet! Big Boy!!! Where as Lilly was perfectly fine crawling back up LOL

I was quite surprised at how much Van really enjoyed the experience. He hated that we had to leave and never showed a bit of hesitation when we were on the sled. I guess that's boys for ya. Lilly and I took a few tumbles as we rolled at the bottom of the hills, but nothing that scared her too much. I could feel my whole body go right into the "Mama Bear" protection mode when I knew we were gonna tip and roll! My legs wrapped around her body as I tucked her into a fetal position as best as I could in the split seconds we had to 'prepare' as if to shield her from the hard hit we would soon endure on the frozen ground. They love the snow though, cold wet and slick, children after my own heart with my winter babies!!! Rosy cheeks and red hands, nothing that can't be warmed up with some hot chocolate and Mama's Love <3

 

 

 

But, no sooner did Christmas end, it was back to school and off to planning Valentine's parties. Amazing at how time flies the busier you are. 

 

Van January 2013 age: almost 2                                  Lilly January 2009 age: 2 yr 3 month

 



Mother Over Load!!

I cannot believe we are already entering October!! It has been such a busy busy month since Lilly has started school. I don't know why I was thinking it was going to be breezy. LOL Lilly started school and things just started whizzing by us.

She is doing absolutely wonderful in her class. She loves going to school so much that she dreads the weekends coming.  I am guessing that will change as she gets older but for now, you better believe I am encouraging that mindset. She is making lots of friends and seems to be very happy there. I have taken a very active role in her class as "room mom."  Her class or school doesn't really have "room moms" persa but I have volunteered my time and efforts anyhow her teacher chooses to utilize me. I  would just like to lighten her teacher's load as much as possible so that she can focus most of her time on actually teaching and not scheduling field trips, clubs, activities etc. So that's what I am doing. I send out reminders to the parents, schedule and book field trips, make all the phone calls for those trips, schedule and plan activities for them on Fridays(Kindergarten club they call it), set up parent volunteer schedules for lunch duty, create "special helpers" calendars for the class etc. So I have had a really, really busy first month. I also go in almost everyday to help with her lunch as well as every Thursday to help with computer class. IT sure has been great having my mom living here this month because most of this I did without having to drag Van all over. She has been such a blessing for that!! And aside from volunteering at the schools events, we are just all over the place here. But we wouldn't have it any other way, because we feel just blessed to have one another.

Lilly has started her 3rd year in ballet and is loving it. This year she will be performing in another recital in May and cannot wait to get her costume! LOL Typical girl :) We really enjoy her being involved in that organization. It is a christian based dance company called Studio 149 here in Fort Wayne and it is just a great place where she can interact with other kids and still glorify the Lord through her dancing.

I have stated to see a whole new "LILLY" since school has started and I am not sure what to make of it. I can look back at the past 5 years and know that we have done everything possible to teach her and mold her to live a life for our Lord. But some days I swear, I think WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER? I knew there would be many changes as we started the beginning of the next 13 years and more in school, but I had NOT anticipated some of these changes. She has always been very very smart, and has had a vocabulary of a grown adult on her...but never too much of an "attitude" and now with being around 17 other kids plus watching and listening to many more kids in school let's just say her sweet little girl days seem to be ending. And I don't mean she is not sweet anymore, I am just saying she is beginning to show how others are influencing her. Sometimes good, and other times bad. I wish I could keep her in a little bottle forever! It scares me, as her mom, to think of what and who is influencing her 7 hours a day all week long! But then I remember that we raised her right and just when I think there is no end to her "attitude" she will correct it herself or apologize on her own. Those moments I keep close to my heart. But I can most definitely see that her discipline here at home needs to be a bit more strict, which is never fun for anyone. She most certainly is growing up too fast right before my very eyes, and I wish I had all the time in the world to keep her little and tucked away safe in my arms. She will be 6 at the end of this month!!!! It just seems impossible. She is becoming more independent as the hours seem to fade in a day.

 I am recuperating from a major surgery I had done on September 7th, to help relieve and alleviate my back pain. I am doing great so far  and feel wonderful! So September was insanely crazy with all this going on!!

Van is Van!!! HE is 18 months now and I think starting his terrible 2's early. He is really starting to throw some serious fits when we don't jump when he says JUMP! He is really getting his "running" down good. Those little arms just go a swingin' and pumpin and his little toosh and hips going from side to side. It is the cutest thing ever!! He has really started to talk quite a bit. He knows probably over 40 words and has just recently started saying 2 sometimes 3 word sentences. My favorite words to hear him say right now are "yes" and "please" ..when he says yes, it is with a pretty good lisp because of how he pronounces his "S" so it's absolutely adorable. And when he says "please" he draws it out really long..."pppppeeeaaasssss" lol I wish I could figure out how to upload video cuz I would try to get it on here! But that would mean more time to sit down and dabble at the computer and quite honestly even now as I am writing this I am thinking about all the other things I HAVE to get done and should be getting done this very second!!! He has been pretty healthy for about 4 weeks now, and if you know anything about us when it comes to him that is a true miracle! We took him in to our Pastors to be anointed and prayed over in the end of August because we just felt like our family was under some serious attack. Van was sick for almost the entire month of August and before that well he has been sick every month sometimes 3 weeks at a time each month ever since he was born. It has been a very hard and draining first year with him. But I am so happy to say that aside from a tiny cold, which use to then amount for a long battle with fevers coughs ear aches etc, he has been healthy ever since we took him in and prayed over him with all our pastors surrounding our family. I feel very blessed to be a part of our church. It is an amazing palce where God is doing some serious work there. I love it!!!

We just got back from visiting Boston for a few days. My mom, myself, Lilly and Van surprised my brother and sister for a quick visit! It was wonderful o see them! They had no idea we were coming and were shocked to see us standing at the door. LOL Sam, my nephew, literally picked Lilly up and spun around in a circle lifting her off the ground! It took us about 13 hours to get there, by car. Van did absolutely wonderful in the car. But from the moment we got there and got out of the car, he never stopped crying/whining. I don't know what his deal was, but it was not fun with him like that. I think it was just pure overwhelming for him. The kids were always running around, playing..we were sitting around talking, laughing etc. So I think it was just too much. So I can say he was a great traveler, but not a good companion once we reached dour destination! LOL

Apple Face on ride to Boston

Happy as a clam to have whole back seat alone!

 

 

The kids really did do awesome in the car! We were able to take my Aunt's minivan and that was a huge blessing! They had room to spread their stuff out, and Lilly could move around, lay down whatever. Probably safe to say the day for minivan mom is nearing!!



This was about 10 minutes before we got there...apparently he was tired of being in his pjs and ready to get them off! LOL

 Ben, Van, Sam and Lilly- 4 out of 5 grand kids

Lilly, Ben and Van playing sandwich shop

 

Now we are home and detoxing Van from his whining days and getting back on track with two naps a day! Thank the Lord for naps!!!!!!!

 

 

Anthony is still with Comcast and living the dream!!!!!! :) And now with my Dad working there as well it is quite funny to hear them talk about all that stuff at night. I am sure Antho is loving it, cuz its not like I knew or understood much that he said when it came to that stuff. He has been a huge help around the house this past month since I had surgery and all, now I don't know what happened...j/k! LOL

 

 

Mom and Dad found a house about 1 mile from us and are very very anxious to get in!! As are we! just kidding!!!! But it will be kinda sad when they do move out cuz the kids won't know what to do without waking up and going to bed with Papa and Mamaw not here. These few months that they have been here have actually gone surprisingly well considering. lol I mean let's face it, a woman almost 60 years old is pretty set in her ways on how she lives and does say to day activities...so to move in with her 30 yo daughter with 2 young kids is a HUGE change!!! There could have been some blood shed, but luckily there wasn't! lol

 

So it seems, things might actually be starting to slow down a bit around here....all though I think that, my calendar says otherwise. Apple picking, pumpkin picking, birthdays to plan, bible studies to attend, ballet, possible cheerleading adding in there, field trips, school fundraisers...thanksgiving then AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I better stop while I am ahead.

 

Maybe my next post I will just do some updated pics! (and more news to come!! ;) )