Watch Out Kindergarten!

Well it is that time of year again! Actually it's that time of year for us, for the first time ever! SCHOOL!!! We had Lilly's orientation last night and it was wonderful! She got to take a good look around her new room, meet some new friends, see her name tag and cubby...she loved all of it. It was a bit overwhelming for me, mentally and emotionally, but still very exciting. So after it was all over, we went home to prepare her lunch and off to bed. She just kept re-peating, "I can't believe tomorrow is school mom!" She walked around all evening with a bounce in her step and the biggest smile I have ever seen on her face.  So we prepared our lunches and off to bed we went. I tucked her in, pulled her blanket up to her chin, kissed her goodnight and then we prayed. I prayed for her safety, her emotions, her mental state, her nerves, for a great day, new friends, new things, ...and right about the middle she broke down in tears. I had the biggest lump in my throat that I think I have ever had and holding back the tears so that she would not see them was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I didn't want her to see any sadness from me, I wanted her to always know that I was excited and happy for this new chapter in her life. So when we were done I comforted my little girl and told her how great she would be, how everyone would love her, how smart, funny and what a great smile she has for everyone to see. Things were all good after that. We went to bed in peace and that was all I could hope for at that moment.  I looked down at her and thought to myself, yeah I can do this I feel good right now, tomorrow won't be a problem for me!!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Who was I fooling?!?!?!?!

6:30 comes awfully early to a 5 year old who probably hasn't gotten up at that hour since she was breastfed! She had no problems getting up though. All I had to do was rub her back and whisper, "it's time fro school Lilly. It is our first day of Kindergarten!" She rolled over, opened her eyes, and was all smiles! Not a twinkle of fear in her eyes, only excitement and anticipation. On the other hand, if she could read my eyes she would see, fear-for her safety, sadness-for her leaving me&daring to grow up, joy-for her excitement and, hope-for the beginning of many things, nervousness-that SOMETHING might go wrong, PRIDE-for the young lady she is becoming.

She practically ran me over to get out of bed, saying "Mom I can't believe I am going to school today! I am so excited!" lol Straight to the kitchen we headed  where she decided on chocolate chip pancakes and orange juice for her first school breakfast! This girl was all laughs, all morning. I was so glad to see she wasn't a bundle of nerves, like her mommy.

We had already packed our lunch the previous night so it was off to do hair and get dressed. Each step Lilly took that morning my heart skipped a beat. I couldn't believe this was happening, myself. Where had the past 5 1/2 years gone? Where was the baby I rocked to sleep int he middle of the night after feedings, where was the little girl who truly meant what "I like" meant as she was watching the weather channel saying "I liKKKe (hard K sound) purple. I liKKKe red. I liKKKe red......" where was the little girl who used to hang on every word that came out of her Papa's mouth as if it were pure gold, where was the little girl who would run into my arms for every tiny scratch....She was there, still standing in front of me, packing her book bag now for her first day of school. She is growing up too fast for me. I remember snuggling her as a baby, thinking to myself how long 5 years is, until i would have to worry about sending her to school. But now I look back and think geesh, it's already been 5 years!!

Dressed and ready to go we went outside to take pictures. she is such a smart, funny, beautiful little girl! I am so blessed to be her mom. I was so overwhelmed with pride as I stood there watching my precious girl pose getting ready to make this huge world she already knows even BIGGER! I could not be more proud of the person she is becoming- loving, kind, considerate, eager to learn about God, wanting to live for HIM, smart, witty, everything and more that a mother could want her child to be.

Not one tear was shed, on her part! She seemed a bit nervous once we got into the building, and asked if I was going to walk into her classroom with her. Of course I said! But her teacher was great, had a big smile on her face, crafts set out for them to start on...It was wonderful. Lilly sat down and started crafting. She seemed fine, in fact a little to fine fro my liking lol. It wasn't her at all who had the issue with leaving, it was me!!!!! I must have said to her like 5 times that I was getting ready to go, and she just  kept replying "ok." Lol I stayed there fro about 10 minutes, just watching her and thinking to myself, how am I going to leave her? I knew I had to go, I didn't want to make this hard for her and since she wasn't having a breakdown of any sorts this was as good as time as ever to leave. I kissed her little lips, told her how much I loved her and to have the best day ever and turned my back.

I wasn't even out the door before the tears just started coming and wouldn't stop. IT was the hardest thing I have ever had to do with her. I wasn't just sending her off to school. It is so much more than that. I am ultimately putting my pumpkin in the hands of strangers and trusting them 110% with her. Trusting they will protect her, lead her, teach her the ways of the Lord, guide her, help her, correct her when she is wrong, comfort her, laugh with her, ...everything that I now cannot do with her all day. That's scary!

Oh begin the the true times of worrying as a parent now! This face of an angel is all I think about from 8 am until 3 pm everyday! I already miss the annoying questions and constant bickering between her and Van. lol  Cheers to the next 13 years!



Gypsy, gypsy where to next?

Well, it's that time of year again...or years. Another Toerne is making a move. This time it's my big sis, Anna. She and her fiance Kyle are moving to Rhode Island where he will be attending IYRS. So on her way from Colorado, she ofcourse had to stop in the mid west for a family visit. We had a great time seeing her and visiting. You don't realize how much you miss someone until you see them again. The laughter, the joke, the smiles....skype just doesn't do it. The kids had such a good time with Auntie Anna. Van is changing daily with new words and new laughs, that it was fun to watch him interact with Auntie and Uncle Kyle. He really took to Uncle Kyle, which is incredible. Van is a tough cookie to crack when it comes to new people. They were eating freeze pops and "we said something like " Van, are you easting with you buddy?" He looked up at Kyle and said  "Buddy!" lol It was so cute, but what was even cuter was when Kyle got up to throw the wrapper out and Van jumped up and ran after him yelling "BUDDY!!" lmao!!! It was the absolute most precious thing ever. I was like omg did that really just happen? lol

Speaking of buddies, Lilly had herself a buddy as well in Uncle Kyle. She has been saving her money from the tooth fairies, chores etc to buy herself the new BRAVE dress, from the disney movie Brave. Finally she got to go purchase one and when we got home you couldn't get that dress off her if you tried. And before we knew it, Uncle Kyle had made her a bow and some arrows for her shooting practice. She spent the entire day outside shooting. I am not kidding. She was out there for HOURS!!!! She got pretty good at it too.

We were able to make a trip to Pokagon for the day to spend at the beach. We had a lot of fun. Van loved playing in the sand, as if I should be surprised. lol Look at those wet lashes!!!

So now, that Aunt Anna is off to the east coast, that's one move down and one more to go. Yes you heard me another move on our plate. My parents, Papa &Mamaw are moving to Fort Wayne!! My Dad has taken a job at Comcast working as a business account executive. He started in July and is currently living with us. He loves the job so far and I am soooooo happy for him. Mom is back in Maumee packing up the house...man, how I hate moving. I can't think about moving without cringing. So they will be moving in with us around Labor Day and staying until they are able to find a home themselves. It might get a little crowded around here, but we are just glad we can help them out. But you better be sure I will be "collecting" in babysitting hours!! j/k! lol

So we are busy around here, as usual. But I have a feeling it never ends, especially once school starts!

Next time I update, I will have a Kindergartner!!!



Good Times in Texas

I know, who woulda thunk it?? Me having a good time in texas?! j/k! lol We had a blast! But let me start off by my all time favorite quote of the trip. Of course it was from me, and we weren't even in
Texas yet lol, it was on the plane after we had JUST boarded....

(looking over to Anthony with an evil eye and the death look)

"I'm never doing this again!"

And remember, we had only just gotten on the plane to head down there! lol Our flight was at 8:30 at night and this was Vance's first time flying. So, we, well I, was very nervous about it all. Lilly had her bag, I had mine, and Antho had his....We all shuffled into our seats as quickly as possible, since for whatever reason the person behind us always seems to be in such a hurry to get back in their seat on a plane that isn't going anywhere for another 20 minutes!!! So we sat down as I frantically sanitized  as much of all the plane as I could see in front of us. By the time that was over, I was SWEATING!!! I thought it was just me, the nerves, the work, the getting situated etc...then our captain came over the intercom saying their was a problem with the air conditioning. OF COURSE!!! Lilly was all set, I was all set, Van was finally all set...and so it started. Van just wanted to climb back and forth between me and Anthony. He never sat still the whole trip, never went to sleep, was just wired! And all that had started while we were still at the gate...so you can see why I turned to Anthony and said that I wasn't doign this again! A 15 month old on a flight is not fun times. I will say though we obviously did something right between offering him snacks, his sippy cup and pacifier..he never cried or whined once about his ears. He was perfect the entire flight. So good in fact that as we waited for everyone to exit the plane almost everyone stopped to tell us how well behaved and wonderful our kids were during the flight. Nothing makes a parent more proud than receiving a compliment about their child(s).

Texas, we are here!!!!! So after a 2 hour flight, and 2 hour drive back from the airport we finally made it to Paw Paw and Melmaw's! It was around 2am by the time we finally got into bed, and Lilly was exhausted! She actually woke up a bit as we carried her in and started hysterically screaming that the floor was eating her and it would stop eating her! lol OMG, it was so cute and funny, we had to really almost scream at her to stop it. She was going nuts, obviously still sleeping and having this nightmare. I asked her about it the next morning if she remembered anything, but nope. lol

Lilly was over the moon to be there and went for the horses and mule first thing that morning! she absolutely loved them all! And believe it or not one of the first things Van went for was a mouthful of, what I can only hope was, dirt! But it was right by the horses, so I am sure there were other particles mixed in with it! Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

We all had such a fun time there. We were there for a week, and it seemed like it was only a couple days we were there. The kids did so many things down there, and made such awesome memories. We swam, went horse back riding, 4 wheeled, went to the zoo, went fishing, had a big bbq party, hot tubbed every night, and not to mention the hundreds of treats the kids got to eat anytime even breakfast!! It was an amazing time! Van warmed right up to Paw Paw. We think it is his cowboy hat that scares him, cuz every time he wears it Van won't go near him, but if he doesn't have his hat on he has no problem with Paw Paw. lol Everyone really enjoyed this trip. Time sure did fly by while we were down there. The kids got to see Grandma for a couple hours at the bbq too. It was the first time Grandma had met Van, so that was cool.

                                               Grandma, Daddy, Van, Lilly & Paw Paw

I got a four generation picture of Anthony, Paw Paw (his dad), his brothers, his Grandfather, (Caseys dad) and Van. I was so very happy to get this pic. It is probably the only time I will ever get a pic like this. Awesome to see and pass on to my kids as they get older.

We couldn't have asked for a better vacation! The bonds we made, the relationships we strengthened, and all the love we shared was indescribable. I feel so blessed to have such an amazing family of my own and an amazing extended family who love us and my children.

Oh by the way, I swear I was in Texas!!! You wouldn't know by any pictures because like always, moms are the ones BEHIND the camera taking all the memory maker photos..but here's one.

To sum it all up, it was a trip we will never forget. The kids were great on the flight home, and we were all excited to be home. Now it was time for detox especially where Van and cookies were concerned! lol

Melmaw, Van, Paw Paw & Lil